a year ago, i could have sworn
that i would spend the rest of my life loving you
regardless of if you were there the whole time or not.
i woke up every morning happier than i was when i fell asleep.
and then you turned into
everybody that i hated.
you walked out in the middle of my bliss
without one word, leaving me with gaping holes
that only your hands could fill
i spent the past year mourning that summer
and the memories i’d saved for rainy days.
until finally the sun started shining again for me
only a few months back when i let go.
and when i let go
you remembered my name
and the summer we spent under the night sky.
and came back into my life like a hurricane,
wrecking all the progress i’d made in your wake.
i’ve tried allowing myself to become tangled in you
like i did so long ago
but i already have one foot out the door
waiting for you to leave all over again.
the butterflies that used to be tied to you
have wilted and been replaced with numbness.
and i can’t help but question
if this is how you felt the whole time.